A Big “BUT”

I did not finish everything I wanted to on this blog – the background is the wrong color, there is no header yet, I had at least two other pages to edit and publish, the categories on the right still need tweaking, I did not get to write amazing posts for this coming week, and worst of all, I lost the vision that had so excited me. Somewhere in all of my busyness it seems to have tiptoed away.

Simply and honestly put, I am overwhelmed with all the “right” things I think I should be doing, things I thought God wanted me to do. I despair and the joy fades. Half-finished projects surround me, yet 10 new ones rise to my mind. It appears like one particular project is important to be finished, so I try to focus on it, only to come to a crisis with another and realize how wrong I was. I stay up late to work on things at night, only to wake up the next morning tired, depressed, and unmotivated. There is no strength, just weariness.

BUT… and this is one of the biggest “buts” I have said in my entire life… but God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and love and a sound mind. (from 1 Timothy 1:7)

I read Romans 8 today. As He always does when I have come to “the end of myself,” God provided that chapter, using it tremendously to break and humble my heart.

“For to be carnally minded is death, but to be spiritually minded is life and peace.” (Romans 8:6)

And so again I receive the answer to my heart’s agonized cry of “why? why is this happening to me when I’m just trying to do what’s right?” It’s the same answer, the same fault, I have found a hundred times before – it is myself, my weak flesh without the power of Christ, this body of death I am bound to by my own stupid will.

“But ye are not in the flesh, but in the Spirit.” (Romans 8:9)

“For ye have not received the spirit of bondage again to fear; but ye have received the Spirit of adoption, whereby we cry, Abba, Father.” (Romans 8:15)

Oh, that sound rebuke! Christ has redeemed me, the Spirit dwells in me to testify of my adoption, and God is my loving Father. What room is there left for me to whine in weakness and trouble?! There is a truth that I cannot escape, that wraps it’s warmth around me no matter how much my flesh wants to feel miserable – God is a faithful Creator, He does not, cannot, will not, give me more to do than is possible. End of the matter. God’s will for me in my life, in this year, this day, and down to this moment, is always accomplishable. It is only an impossible feat when I take matters into my hands, burdening them down with fears, doubts, pride, selfish ambitions, and impure motives {among so many other sins we fall into by separating ourselves from God}. Praise God that HE makes it possible!

Jesus says to all who will hear, “Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” (Matthew 11:28-30)

Yes, Lord, I come… the victory is Yours.

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This entry was posted in Blog News, Living for Christ and tagged , on by .

About Michelle

I am the middle of three daughters, daily living by the grace of God and in awe of Christ's perfect love, to suffer and die in atonement for my sins, and then rise from the dead to give me eternal life with Him. I get excited about reading/applying/talking about God's Word, travel, fellowship, nutrition, books, writing, photography, cooking and especially baking, designing things, event planning, and doing things with my family.

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